Do baby boomers dream of retiring to an exciting new place or are they making plans to come home to settle down? Can you come home and will it be the same?
After visiting my old home in Washington state, I pondered these questions.
Thomas Wolfe wrote the novel “You Can’t Go Home”. The term became a popular saying, which generally means that if you go back to a place in the past, it won’t be the one you remember. In fact, you may be downright disappointed.
Though opinions vary, Morton H. Shaevitz, Ph.D argued in an article written for Psychology Today that coming home doesn’t necessarily have to be a negative experience, “not if one approaches life in a more optimistic way and understands. that while some things may change, some things remain the same and others may be even better. “
While I don’t advocate living in the past, several studies have shown that nostalgic memories can help combat loneliness, provide psychological comfort, raise self-esteem, foster feelings of belonging, help us cope with adversity, and increase optimism about the future. . If that’s the case, why not revisit a place or home that brings back fond memories?
But does that mean you should go home when you retire?
My personal experience
For me, my home has been many different places. My parents moved around a lot. Even though I was born in Southern California, we moved a half dozen times before starting high school.
Over the years, I have revisited some of those places. Sometimes it’s a good trip down memory lane, but other times my old home or city has gone downhill.
For example, I briefly lived in Willits, located in Northern California, famous for the Skunk Train that travels through the beautiful forests to Fort Bragg. My parents bought a lot in the country and we lived in a mobile home when I was 10 years old. Our backyard was a children’s paradise with a small stream, wild blackberry bushes, and plenty of room to stroll. One of my childhood friends lived nearby on acres of land with a pond, cows, and woods to explore.
When I revisited decades later, the vacant lot now housed dilapidated apartment complexes. My friend’s parents had sold their land that was parceled out to build houses and was unrecognizable. After my visit, I wished I had kept my wonderful childhood memories of the place.
On the other hand, I just got back from visiting my old home in Washington state.
I fell in love with the place again during my visit this summer.
Losing our old digs
In the late 90’s, my husband Scott and I, along with our two sons, Jonathan and Christopher, moved to Puyallup. My daughter-in-law, Johnni, had never visited the state, so we planned a 10-day vacation there in our camping trailers.
When he saw our old neighborhood, he asked, “Why did you leave this place?”
Good question.
We only lived there for three years, but I missed it when we returned to the California desert. Washington always held a special place in my heart.
The last time we visited, 18 years ago while on a book signing tour, every time we took a freeway heading south, I was joking with my husband. “Please don’t take me south! We can still turn around.”
While we were in Puyallup, we met my cousin, Rhonda, who still lives there, in Wildwood Park. Memories quickly returned from the days when we walked with our chow, Sydney, in these beautiful forests.
The rain had washed the stairs to the playground, and as we were going down the steep path, a young mother rushed to help us.
“That’s another reason I miss Washington,” I told Johnni. “People here are down to earth and more relaxed.” In fact, Johnni was amazed at how kind and helpful all the parents proved to be.
Remembering my reporter days
When we lived there, I was working as a journalist for The Puyallup Herald, formerly known as the Pierce County Herald.
One of the most exciting jobs I’ve ever had and one of the most stressful due to tight deadlines.
But I loved going to work and not knowing where it would end or who I would interview that day.
I wrote articles about a local doctor who visited Albania as a volunteer to help ethnic Albanian refugees forced out of Kosovo by Serbian forces, adults who were adopted and later reunited with their biological parents (the results were not always positive), a series about the homeless, a story about a man’s memories of World War II, and an article about an 83-year-old widow who traveled to 183 countries after the death of her husband. Their stories were inspiring.
Once a reader called to inform our newspaper that a lot of police cars were surrounding the area and that crowds of people were gathering. They sent me to investigate and found out that they had found an old buried bomb that needed to be detonated. You never knew!
My husband visited his old office known as Blue Cube back in the day. Located on the Puyallup River, Scott fondly remembered fishing for salmon during his breaks and lunchtime.
Our first camp was at lovely Gig Harbor. We enjoyed lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, Tides Tavern. You can’t beat the views from your terrace!
Addressing my fears in Seattle
One of my favorite cities in the world is Seattle. On a sunny day, we loved eating seafood on the boardwalk. It’s funny to think that when we moved there, I didn’t like clams. But my husband loved to dig clams whenever the opportunity arose and now they are one of my favorite foods.
Of course, Johnni and my granddaughter Paige wanted to climb the Space Needle and ride the Great Seattle Wheel. Despite my fear of heights, I joined in on the fun. To my horror, the Space Needle had added a rotating glass floor, which I dared to take a photo of. The giant Ferris wheel, The Seattle Great Wheel, was also new from the last time I visited. Since I don’t believe in letting fears stop you, I rode it. Confession: I may have yelled a couple of times.
Mount rainier
Another of my favorite places to visit in this incredible state is Mount Rainier. Unfortunately, smoke from local fires had clouded the sky and obscured views of the spectacular volcano. But once you got up the mountain, the views were as impressive as ever.
Our stay is extended
Now something goes wrong on almost every vacation, right? Then Chris and Johnni’s truck transmission blew up and they told us it would take about five days to get the parts to replace it. At first, thinking about our jobs and all our responsibilities waiting at home, we were horrified.
But after making a few phone calls, we found out that the world wouldn’t end if we stayed one more week.
The campgrounds are full these days and Gig Harbor is booked for the following week. Calls to various camps were also unsuccessful. Finally, we found two sites in Lake Sawyer, a place that Scott and I had never visited. Well, what a blessing all that turned out to be. This was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen.
The truck incident also gave my family the opportunity to visit Snoqualmie Falls and the lovely nearby town full of vintage trains. We also enjoyed a fun day at an amusement park with my family, including my oldest granddaughter, Eden, who was visiting there at the same time.
Time to say goodbye
I daresay that when the auto shop told us they had fixed Chris and Johnni’s truck a few days before, we were sad. It meant that we would leave this beautiful state. Johnni and Paige were now in love with Washington as much as the rest of us.
On the way home we switched to 101 as there were so many fires along the 5. A landslide happened to cause an hour and a half delay. Perhaps influenced by the more laid-back spirit of the Northwest, we pulled out our chairs, put on some classic ’70s music, smashed the Mimosa and avocado toast, and chilled.
A woman walked by and said, “Well done!”
I said to my husband, “Look, we were meant to stay in Washington.”
Can you go home again?
So I may have gotten off topic a bit, but that brings me back to my original question. Can you go home again?
My husband wants to retire soon and we know one thing for sure. When that happens, we will not stay here in the desert.
Will we go back to Washington? Although it is not out of the question, I wonder how I would handle the cold and wet winters now that I am 60 years old. When we lived in Puyallup, I was 30 years old and I didn’t mind rainy, dark days. I reasoned that you wouldn’t have all the beauty of Washington without the humid climate. In my opinion, it was worth it. Would I still feel this way?
Or do we go to the beach to enjoy sailing? Or will we go somewhere new and exciting?
Time will tell.