I often hear from wives who aren’t sure where to turn after believing their husband doesn’t love them anymore. Sometimes these wives realize this after observing their husband’s behavior. Other times, this happens after a big argument or big problem has come up. Occasionally, it is the husband who makes this claim for himself. However it happened, the wife has come to the conclusion that she is not loved by her, and this often hurts and confuses her.
She might say, “My husband won’t exactly admit that he doesn’t love me anymore, but he won’t deny it either. When we first got married, he would run home with me. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we could always have fun just being together. We loved cooking and singing together. I can’t remember when we last did that now my husband often comes home late from work and doesn’t have much to say to him when he finally comes home I’ll try to be nice and have a good evening and although he’s friendly, he doesn’t engage with me like he used to. Last week my mom had a bit of a health scare, she fell and hurt herself badly, so I felt it was necessary to go spend a few days with her and handle some safety issues at her home, before my husband always accompanied me on these kinds of trips. We were always in this together. Last night, he told me that he was too busy and would not go with me. When I got sad about this, tell him that I felt that he no longer loved me. laughed at me and he did not respond to my concern. When I think back over the past two years, I can see many other incidents like this where his behavior could have been reassuring and loving, but it wasn’t. I guess I didn’t want to see him at the time. Some of my friends say that I am exaggerating with this, but I don’t believe it. I’m pretty sure my husband doesn’t love me anymore and I don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want to lose my marriage. But how do you have a marriage without love?
Understand where you are now and where you could be in the future: I understand your preocupation. There was a time in my own marriage when I felt my husband’s love slip away. I didn’t want to face reality so I just looked the other way and hoped things would get better. They didn’t. We parted ways. So I would never encourage you to just ignore this or not address it. He must always address what makes him uncomfortable and uneasy about his marriage. That said, I’m pretty sure that before and during my own separation, my husband really believed that he didn’t love me anymore. I’m also pretty sure he believed that love could never come back.
And yet here he is years later, and we’re still married today. And since we have made great changes and improvements in our marriage, I feel extremely loved and valued. The way they treat me today is very different from the way they treated me then. (And my husband would probably say the same.) But it took a lot of effort to get from that day to this. The point I’m trying to make is that even if you’re right and your husband thinks he doesn’t love you, it’s possible to change that.
I firmly believe that we all tend to be strongly influenced by the circumstances and situations that surround us. If our marriage gets a little tired and we don’t see a quick and immediate solution, we run the risk of believing that we no longer love our spouse the way we used to. Ours is an instant gratification society filled with “perfect” social media images that just aren’t real. So there is a real tendency to throw something away or make big changes when things no longer seem perfect. We convince ourselves that we are facing a lost cause and that our efforts to change things may be a waste of time.
That’s the bad new. Now here’s some good news. The above scenario is not set in stone. My marriage is one example, but I know many others. If you can change the bitter situation and circumstances, you can also change the perception of feelings. Yes, our weddings change over time. The man who used to run home now has countless responsibilities on his shoulders. He may not have anything to do with his wife, but he realizes that when he comes home, he doesn’t feel like he used to. This is not his wife’s fault, but sometimes he attributes these feelings to her and withdraws from the marriage. This is unfair, but the only ray of light here is that if both parties can find a way to lighten their load or change the dynamics of the home so that home is their safe place to fall, suddenly their feelings for their wife are going to go up. disappear. it also changes.