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According to a survey, 92 percent of unfaithful men said they cheat out of emotional disconnection. People would think that men cheat for sex, but what they don’t realize is that sex, being a means of conveying emotional to physical expression, is just as important to men as affection is to women.
Men are also emotional beings. The problem is that society has painted them in a way that doesn’t make them look that way. Society plays an important role in defining men. Think about it, the media has a huge misconception about men that they become “macho” when they have more than one woman. Almost to the point where it connotes that the more women a man can have, the more powerful he becomes, or that men have the biological right to cheat mainly because he has the penis.
They don’t have to worry about being pregnant or managing their monthly OB/GYN visits. The media portray them as the alpha dogs and that women are mere expendable sex objects. We delude ourselves into thinking that men are these lustful gods and animals who have no sense of self-control, remorse, and conscience to figure out what is right and wrong when it comes to sex.
This misconception is confusing and can basically lead us astray from the truth. Men are just as emotional as women, but they just displace their emotions in different, socially acceptable ways.
1. appreciate– Most men who cheat feel underestimated by their partners. With daily worries like bills, kids, and chores, couples lose appreciation for each other. The other woman often makes the man feel better, making him feel different, appreciated and admired. Men look strong, powerful and capable. But inside, they are insecure like everyone else. They are looking for someone to build them up so they feel valued.
Men have a winning mentality. Just think about how men watch their favorite sports teams on TV. They love to win. As long as they are in the game, even until the end, they will watch. Once it’s a blowout and they know their team can’t win, the TV goes off. They may not have been good guys to live with, but if you want to preserve your relationship, make them feel like they are gaining from the things they do for you. No matter how small, appreciation will keep your man from looking at an affair.
2. Appearance vs Attention– 88 percent of men surveyed in one study said that other women were no more attractive than their own wives or girlfriends. This just proves that there are things other than physical appearance that can lead a man to cheat. Caution is one of them. Most men cheat because their wives or girlfriends stop paying attention to them. They put a very tight grip on this and if they can’t find it at your house or apartment, they come looking for it somewhere else.
The other woman makes them feel safe. They feel like they can be themselves. They can talk more, express themselves more, and the listening ear is always there when they need to share their stories. It amazes them how someone else can be so interested in their work, their childhood, their plans and their dreams. And men put a high price on this!
Anyone, no matter what you look like, can admire you, open up to you, and give you that little extra push and hang on to your every word. So instead of spending too much extra time at the office, why not spend some quality time listening to your partner?
3. Power. A common mistake of working women is when they make men feel emasculated by rubbing in their faces that they have higher incomes. This can make the guy feel criticized and again underappreciated. Making them lose their sense of power in a relationship.
According to Sherry Argov, in the book “Why Men Marry Bitches,” “Power is just as intoxicating for men as romance is for women.” Once feeling vulnerable, men will try to regain their lost power by cheating on a woman, who, you guessed it, usually works as a waitress at TGI Fridays!
So be very careful how you view yourself to your partner when you have a high-powered career. Although men may seem supportive and proud, they have a certain form of insecurity when it comes to putting food on the table or paying for dinners. It doesn’t mean that the woman should feel sorry for being more successful than him, or that she should simply quit her job or ask to be demoted just to stroke her ego.
It’s more about how you handle yourself tactfully and sensitively when talking about your job, your paycheck, your FICO score, your investments, or your purchases. Modesty is the important thing here. Also, don’t criticize their work or their income. Be sure to let him know that you are supporting him, not competing against him.
4. Passion. Most couples stop dating when the honeymoon stage is over. 4 years of marriage and it’s all about microwaved TV dinners and talking about bills. Spice has been replaced by monotony. So once in a while you should go out to your favorite restaurant, go to the movies (not rent a DVD), and watch a movie you both enjoy.
Activities, outside of the routine of living at home, are the things that get the juice flowing in a relationship. Many couples stop dating after marriage or after a long period of time, then the woman wonders why the man ran off with another woman.
This is because men generally like women who are fun and outgoing. They like a woman who laughs more and knows how to have a good time. Men are like boys and if you’re not going to be a fun playmate, they’ll find the next girl in the neighborhood to play with. If you’re that annoying, chances are he’s going to be mad at you for it. A man needs to be constantly stimulated to keep his attention. Otherwise, he will retaliate and feel unappreciated and taken for granted. He wants to know that you can still be entertained by his company, that he can still make you laugh, and that you still care about his character.
Don’t stop humor because you are already busy with important priorities. Include recreation in your budget and schedule. Make sex more interesting by buying a new pair of sexy lingerie. Experiment in bed. The key here is that you need to cover all aspects of your life together to keep him hooked and interested only in you.
This is not to say that you should be a doormat and become your own private entertainer, like a court jester juggling for the king all day. The sole purpose of this is to keep the fire going, the engines running and the steam flowing. Remember, men are just as passionate as women.